Why I Won't Change

Because I can't and I don't think God wants me to change. Some discussion with friends at work and on Facebook really has me deep in thought about money and the American lifestyle, which is really just a lifestyle of luxury and exists in almost every country to some degree. I won't change because I don't think God wants me to become Amish or become a recluse, living in the wilderness of the high Sierras. The issue comes down to my place in God's kingdom which is out in the battlefield trying to be a light in this ever increasingly dark darkness. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine and I can't really shine while I am hidden away somewhere or living a lifestyle so foreign to my surrounding culture that the world ostracizes me. I need to blend in enough to be part of the blur but not to the point of compromising my morals.

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Illusion

There is an illusion that we are taught from the age we think we want to be astronauts until the day we realize we are not going to become astronauts. You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up. Coming to the realization that I am not going to become an astronaut or, fill in the blank, is an eye-opening and gut-wrenching process. Common sense directs us that, although we all want to become astronauts, someone has to wash the intergalactic grime off the space shuttle hull.

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Lemonade

There is an interesting concept I have been grappling with as of late, involving relative success. If I can sell enough lemonade at my stand to cover operating costs and have enough money to catch a flick afterwards, I would feel mostly succesful. Others would post signs around the neighborhood, make a posting on craigslist and even offer free cookies with a purchase. Still others would opt not to sell lemonade, but instead use the startup capital from their parents to buy candy at the cornerstore. All of these options end with the individual attaining some level of success, but there is an important difference between the three examples; relative success. What I cannot wrap my mind around is the second example where the individual spent so much time and energy investing in the process, that there might be no time to enjoy the benefits of so much effort spent. And there is the individual too lazy to even try and sell lemonade, yielding a very quick and short-lived benefit. The individual at each level may scoff at the laziness of one or the overly busy nature of the other, but each individual enjoys their own level of success.

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First Impression Reprise

When meeting someone for the first time, it's like pulling a movie off of the shelf at Blockbuster. The title of the movie is "Bullets and Bombs" and is in the action/adventure section with an 'R' rating. We can assume the film will be full of blood, guts and glory, have a very shallow plot and contain a fair amount of profanity. It's in our nature and nurture to label things. Categories are created to simplify the process, whether that be choosing a movie or deciding what to eat from a menu at a restaurant. Surely one would not find the cesear salad mixed in with the beverage section of the menu. Because our brains are wired for organization, our social interactions are hindered with a non-objectivity that is difficult to alter. The first impression, as previously discussed, applies a categorical label to the subject and only future experiences with the subject can modify the label. Although the label is not directly a fault of our own, it is our responsibility to form a relationship with the subject that destroys the label and replaces it with the individual's name.

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First Impression

The relationship between first impressions and future interactions with the subject is crucial. It is at this moment that your brain collects a variety of subconcious data that dictates the way you will communicate with the subject. Attempting to bypass this function is done so in complete futility. And so the individual is broken down into categories that we can easily recognize for future purposes, such as; socio-economic background, race, personality type and so on. One can claim that objectivity is possible in social interaction, but I propose that due to nurturing effects, socialization, and other factors, we will assign stereotypes, generalizations and categories to any subject upon the initial encounter. After many subsequent meetings with any given subject, our perspective evolves and objectivity becomes more and more possible. The more people we meet and the more relationships that we build, the more complex and objectve our social interactions become and we begin to see faces in the chaotic swirl around us.

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Re-evaluated Annoyances

This morning when I swung my feet out from the sheets and onto the floor, I noticed two things almost immediately. There was light coming in through the window and a frenzy of birds were chattering outside. I continued to the door of the bedroom and experienced a rush of memories from my childhood. I used to hate this time of year because the mocking birds in the Chinese elm outside were loud through the night and my Saturday morning slumbers were interrupted by the rays of spring's sun. It's amazing how time, a change of perspective or new hobby can effect our outlook on life and how we view the world around us. I was waking up early today for a surf and the chirping birds and early morning light meant warmer days and more time in the water. We all have our unique loud birds and rays of sunlight in our lives. Maybe if we apply patience in interpretting these annoyances, we can catch a glimpse of the larger picture.

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Self Perception

Our self-perception is never going to be equal to our actual character, personality or aesthetic; but only greater than or less than. The observers will either see an individual as greater or less than the reality and it is the interaction of the observers and the individual that create the individuals average self-perception. Self-perception is then determined, categorically, by the sum of the observers' opinions which can either be greater or less than the individual's actually worth, but is rarely, if ever, equal to this value. It is when the individual locates someone who's blind non-objectivity radiates stronger than the thoughts of the sum of the other observers, that the individual evaluates self-perception differently than the average suggests. Only love or hate can be responsible for such non-objectivity and it is the sum of these impactful and unique interactions that pulls self-perception to one pole or the other.

Charge

New life begins and sometimes life ends, old or not. As the community that loved him, enjoyed his life and now says goodbye to an influential young man of God, there is an immediate unspoken demand for personal reflection that most have entered into. Most will mourn with the family and others will comfort those who mourn, but ultimately we are all thinking the same thing. Tomorrow I am going to live. Tomorrow I'm going to really live. I heard my baby's heartbeat again today and the irony of recent events brought an indescribable joy that I am sure Clayton would have appreciated. Life is more precious than we give it credit and we are often times wasting it. So as this young, old soul moves along from this earth, let us all take a personal inventory of things we need to correct and take care of sooner, rather than later. Let's do all things with a zeal for life and a new sense of urgency, so as not to take today for granted.

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Humans

In a crowded city like San Francisco, it's easy for the people to become detached from their humanity in our minds and become part of the scene that swirls around us. There are so many individuals having seemingly arbitrary conversations, moving with a fluidity that seems rehearsed and going to places that we will ultimately not end up ourselves. It's interesting to stop and think about each blurry face as an individual with family and friends, a home or not, religious or spiritual views, jobs, political leanings, a sense of humor, regional dialect, subcultural affiliations, favorite color and type of pizza. We go home and we enjoy ourselves, so to speak, and the people we passed by become nothing more than part of the day, part of the city, part of the swirl.

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Salads And Smoothies

I have decided that I could eat salads and smoothies for the rest of my life and be perfectly content. I have been taking a nutrition class and every week I learn more about food and I am concerned. Last week we watched a video of an unhealthy patient getting his blood drawn and the visual results were both surprising and disgusting. The blood had visible fat, which you could see in the vile that had separated itself from the blood, rising to the top of the vile. Later, they showed an open-heart surgery in which the doctors were able to pull sausage-like strands of fat from the arteries of the patient. The patient in question had a largely fast food diet. All of that was enough for me to decide to limit my burger and fry intake and start consuming more leafy greens and fruits. Let's see how long I can keep this going.

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Career Confusion

Pardon my always creative blog title. Assuming I will live to be at least one hundred years old, it's safe to say I am going through my quarter life crisis, obviously. I simply don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Being married and having a baby on the way, doesn't automatically make me grown up or particularly knowledgeable about life. The title of my blog page, Quarter Century Wisdom, is just a sarcastic shot at my stream of opinions included within. My problem seems to lie mainly in the realm of indecisiveness. I enjoy my current job and I am getting better at what I do as I go along, I'm just not sure I want to stick around forever. At the end of this semester, I will have completed my general education and will need to make a decision about continuing my education. Maybe I can write blogs for my career? Any suggestions?

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Writer's Block Pondered

Writer's block is something that all musicians, authors and even artists have to deal with at some point in time. I am actually having a tough time writing this blog about writer's block, ironically enough. One possible explanation for the problem could be a lack of inspiration. It also dawned on me that perhaps when the creator of the said project is so overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions, it can be difficult to express them through the corresponding medium. When faced with this dilemma, the end result is rarely satisfactory to the creator, regardless of the actual quality of the finished product. So my final thought is related to that last statement. Is writer's block the creator's inability to produce material through the medium or their personal filter that is meant to prohibit a substandard or inauthentic end result?

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Seeing Is Believing

I saw the heartbeat of my unborn child today. It was overwhelming. Up until this point I knew we were pregnant, but the full realization had not kicked in. The surrealism surrounding this fact was mostly due to our previous failed pregnancy, in which case there was no heartbeat. I wanted so badly to believe that everything was fine and I had talked myself into the idea after much thought and prayer. All doubts were resolved today when we were not only able to see the heart beating, but also hear it. Instant comfort.

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Music

Music is an art form that can provide a unique experience to the observer. The lyrics and music can intersect with such purity that the song trancends the intent and ability of the author to convey the insurmountable emotion felt by the listener. These experiences are not only unique in themselves but are generally impossible to fully share. We can both agree that a song is great but the emotions envoked are rarely shared and sometimes difficult to communicate. Because of this struggle of musical communication between the artists and the listeners and between the listeners themselves, we are left with a variety of music that is seemingly never ending.

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Simplicity

Ultimately, there isn't much more that brings us joy in life than being around friends and family. New additions to family bring the existing members closer together in a unique way. I know every family has their disagreements and things aren't always 'picture perfect' but those things seem to be set aside so easily when a family event occurs. So my challenge for myself and you, the reader, is to set aside these troubles now. Don't wait for a big event, like a new baby or a wedding or more importantly a funeral. Embrace the simplicity of family.

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Violence

I have never understood the concept of purposefully harming another human being physically. There is a new documentary about the Bloods and the Crips, which details the struggle of the youth in those troubled areas of Los Angeles throughout that area's history. I am interested in what drives children to such violence and ways we can prevent these situations. The movie talks about a broken and racist society that has essentially bred domestic terrorism over time. I vote for a stimulus package to be issued from Washington. A push for a new way of thinking. Let's use the water under the bridge to soften the soil of our countries difficult past and reform the way we approach each other on an individual level. No more race. We are the human race and we have made a mess out of things all across the board. Let's learn from past mistakes and set aside ignorant pretenses.

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Subjective Morality

We have learned over time to adapt to other's sensitivities and expect our own sensitivities to be respected and it is hindering the very core of our society. This learned sensitivity has evolved into a tolerance that is unhealthy. This is a difficult topic to dicuss because to proceed, one needs to strip away personal opinion and use objective moral review as a basis. We need to stop bowing to tolerance and stand up for morality.

PS. I am Pro-Life, Pro-Marriage (one man, one woman), and Pro-Jesus. I am sorry if this offends you. It shouldn't.

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Just Kidding!

It's actually after midnight and is technically Monday. I know, tricky tricky, right? I'm sorry but you can't have those last few minutes back.

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Oops...

I guess I posted on the sabbath even though I said I wasn't.

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Sabbath

It's Sunday, so I am not going to post anything. The end.

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On That Note...

I am going to sleep. I actually had a great day of surfing in the morning and then relaxation. It was one of those kinds of days that don't happen very often. It seemed that most friends were busy and the weather dictated that a quiet day inside was the best idea. I had no obligations or things to tend to. It was fantastic. I haven't gone to sleep before midnight in quite some time, so I will shut my eyes. I have nothing profound to add.

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Evolution Weekend

Charles Darwin would have been 200 years old this week if he was still around. I guess he couldn't adapt to old age so well and natural selection decided he was an old fart. It's interesting how much press he received this past week. I'm not sure why the THEORY of evolution is being taught in schools while creationism is completely ignored. The Bible is the most heavily manuscripted historical document of all time and this cannot be refuted. I actually don't enjoy this debate and really wish the fire would fall down in my lifetime so I wouldn't have to argue my point until I die.

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Rollercoaster

That's the only way to describe the last few days. I guess in hindsight, as far as rollercoasters are concerned, it would be relatively boring. If I were to equate this week to a particular ride, I would have to choose Goliath. There was only one drop and even though it seemed to last forever, it didn't really. Also, there weren't enough ups and downs for me to throw up.

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Good News. No Bad News?

I just did a little catching up on the news, compliments of my AP News app on my
iPhone. It appears that children who utilize hand gestures before speaking tend to develop a more rich vocabulary than infants who do not. This article was right underneath one about a missing girl in Florida. Does anyone know a source for good news only?

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Essence Proceeds Existence

You didn't think I was really going to discuss existentialism in my blog, did you? I'm not, or at least not today. I need to google that term first...
I am grappling with the challenge of how to say as much as I possibly can about topics I think others will be interested in without actually clueing you into the essence of me, AND ranting about things I find interesting as well, while also being succinct. It's not going to happen, as demonstrated in the last sentence. And also, if at all possible, leave you with that empty feeling of "what did I just read?". Mission accomplished.

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Ponder Point

Why does the blogger blog and the reader read? It's as if to gain some insight on another life and experience a sense of communion in the sharing of an idea, it's human nature. For the reader to peer in and in some relative way, be able to confirm one's own humanity. And for the blogger to peer out and note the onlookers is crucial to the relationship and function of the ordeal.

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First Blog Ever

This is indeed the first post to this new blog account and also the first using this iPhone app. I have a few ramblings on Myspace and have broadcasted a rant or two via my Facebook status, but now it's official: I'm blogging. I'm inspired...details on that to follow. I'm actually not sure how you will find my blog and then set aside time to read it, but I will try and make it worth your time. As a once popular internet catchphrase went: Goodbye!

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