Why I Won't Change

Because I can't and I don't think God wants me to change. Some discussion with friends at work and on Facebook really has me deep in thought about money and the American lifestyle, which is really just a lifestyle of luxury and exists in almost every country to some degree. I won't change because I don't think God wants me to become Amish or become a recluse, living in the wilderness of the high Sierras. The issue comes down to my place in God's kingdom which is out in the battlefield trying to be a light in this ever increasingly dark darkness. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine and I can't really shine while I am hidden away somewhere or living a lifestyle so foreign to my surrounding culture that the world ostracizes me. I need to blend in enough to be part of the blur but not to the point of compromising my morals.

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Illusion

There is an illusion that we are taught from the age we think we want to be astronauts until the day we realize we are not going to become astronauts. You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up. Coming to the realization that I am not going to become an astronaut or, fill in the blank, is an eye-opening and gut-wrenching process. Common sense directs us that, although we all want to become astronauts, someone has to wash the intergalactic grime off the space shuttle hull.

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Lemonade

There is an interesting concept I have been grappling with as of late, involving relative success. If I can sell enough lemonade at my stand to cover operating costs and have enough money to catch a flick afterwards, I would feel mostly succesful. Others would post signs around the neighborhood, make a posting on craigslist and even offer free cookies with a purchase. Still others would opt not to sell lemonade, but instead use the startup capital from their parents to buy candy at the cornerstore. All of these options end with the individual attaining some level of success, but there is an important difference between the three examples; relative success. What I cannot wrap my mind around is the second example where the individual spent so much time and energy investing in the process, that there might be no time to enjoy the benefits of so much effort spent. And there is the individual too lazy to even try and sell lemonade, yielding a very quick and short-lived benefit. The individual at each level may scoff at the laziness of one or the overly busy nature of the other, but each individual enjoys their own level of success.

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First Impression Reprise

When meeting someone for the first time, it's like pulling a movie off of the shelf at Blockbuster. The title of the movie is "Bullets and Bombs" and is in the action/adventure section with an 'R' rating. We can assume the film will be full of blood, guts and glory, have a very shallow plot and contain a fair amount of profanity. It's in our nature and nurture to label things. Categories are created to simplify the process, whether that be choosing a movie or deciding what to eat from a menu at a restaurant. Surely one would not find the cesear salad mixed in with the beverage section of the menu. Because our brains are wired for organization, our social interactions are hindered with a non-objectivity that is difficult to alter. The first impression, as previously discussed, applies a categorical label to the subject and only future experiences with the subject can modify the label. Although the label is not directly a fault of our own, it is our responsibility to form a relationship with the subject that destroys the label and replaces it with the individual's name.

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First Impression

The relationship between first impressions and future interactions with the subject is crucial. It is at this moment that your brain collects a variety of subconcious data that dictates the way you will communicate with the subject. Attempting to bypass this function is done so in complete futility. And so the individual is broken down into categories that we can easily recognize for future purposes, such as; socio-economic background, race, personality type and so on. One can claim that objectivity is possible in social interaction, but I propose that due to nurturing effects, socialization, and other factors, we will assign stereotypes, generalizations and categories to any subject upon the initial encounter. After many subsequent meetings with any given subject, our perspective evolves and objectivity becomes more and more possible. The more people we meet and the more relationships that we build, the more complex and objectve our social interactions become and we begin to see faces in the chaotic swirl around us.

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Re-evaluated Annoyances

This morning when I swung my feet out from the sheets and onto the floor, I noticed two things almost immediately. There was light coming in through the window and a frenzy of birds were chattering outside. I continued to the door of the bedroom and experienced a rush of memories from my childhood. I used to hate this time of year because the mocking birds in the Chinese elm outside were loud through the night and my Saturday morning slumbers were interrupted by the rays of spring's sun. It's amazing how time, a change of perspective or new hobby can effect our outlook on life and how we view the world around us. I was waking up early today for a surf and the chirping birds and early morning light meant warmer days and more time in the water. We all have our unique loud birds and rays of sunlight in our lives. Maybe if we apply patience in interpretting these annoyances, we can catch a glimpse of the larger picture.

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Self Perception

Our self-perception is never going to be equal to our actual character, personality or aesthetic; but only greater than or less than. The observers will either see an individual as greater or less than the reality and it is the interaction of the observers and the individual that create the individuals average self-perception. Self-perception is then determined, categorically, by the sum of the observers' opinions which can either be greater or less than the individual's actually worth, but is rarely, if ever, equal to this value. It is when the individual locates someone who's blind non-objectivity radiates stronger than the thoughts of the sum of the other observers, that the individual evaluates self-perception differently than the average suggests. Only love or hate can be responsible for such non-objectivity and it is the sum of these impactful and unique interactions that pulls self-perception to one pole or the other.